Monday, June 15, 2009

"Sleeping with Ashley Olsen"

Justin Ross Lee has 5,001 Facebook friends, and I pride myself in being one of them. Although some of you may have just become acquainted with JRL from his expose with Guest of a Guest, those of you that are strangers to this Facebook celebrity, are in for a treat.
Who is Justin Ross Lee, you ask? Well, since there are no words to do this powerhouse justice, let's just say, simply put, JRL is a “super charged- super Jew". Which, btw, is a term Justin coined himself. JRL has single handily taken Facebook, and the country, by storm being a one man power house of branding. I am one of the original JRL followers and have come to love him through his scandalous status updates, provocative photo captions, and raw, obnoxious video footage. Humbly, I admit, “I don’t really know him, he’s just my Facebook friend”, when introducing his videos to my real friends. I will plow through the embarrassment because videos like “Interfaith dating” and “24 hours in Vegas”, are that worth it. I’ve never actually met JRL, but I can give you the names of his past two girlfriends and recite for you, verbatim, how he spent this past weekend. I guess this makes me a JRL groupie. Trust me, if this is the first time you are hearing his name, it won’t be the last. Justin Ross Lee is currently working on a reality TV show as well as a clothing line.

Last Monday, when I logged into Facebook, not surprisingly JRL had uploaded pictures. I was, however, intrigued by the album title, “Sleeping with Ashley Olsen”. Upon seeing this, I immediately contacted him.

I was finally able to get him on the phone, for what turned into an hour long play-by-play of everything Ashley Olsen. It's worth mentioning that when I finally contacted JRL, he was “jew-jetting” in Vegas for the weekend. He was kind enough to take the call poolside, at the Signature MGM Hotel, regardless of not having slept in 24 hours. Trust me, he may have been nursing a hangover and running his “jew-shitck” on the cocktail waitresses, but he didn’t miss a beat.

For the record, Kiss and Type isn’t a celebrity gossip blog. After being voted biggest gossip in high school, I’ve tried really hard to tame my evil ways. That said, there are countless questions as well as preconceived notions that our generation has about the Olsen's. JRL just happened to have answers. Instead of telling and retelling his story, I figure I would make this one exception, and let my readers have it. Some details you may find pointless... but these are the things I wanted to know.

First, let me clarify by saying, JRL did not actually sleep with Ashley Olsen. He sat next to her on their flight from LA to NYC last week. And since he only flies first class, JRL and Ashley Olsen were both “fuck you lying flat” for what he calls a seven hour “forced date”, hence the title.

Let me set the stage; The flight was completely full, the door was closed, and they were ready for take off. The plane door reopens (which never happens) and on walks Ashley Olsen, escorted by her personal assistant and a gate agent. They walk her to the only available seat on the plane, and just her luck, it happens to be next to the one and only JRL. She is wearing an “unnecessary” amount of layers for summer in LA, over sized sunglasses, and carried on just one bag… the over sized brown Birkin. Since she is so frail she was unable to put into the Birkin in the overhead and had to be assisted by the agent. Upon sitting down, she introduced herself, and JRL made a decision at that point to pretend as though he had no idea who she was. He spent the entire flight calling her "Amy", which I personally think is incredible. Over two glasses of pre-flight champagne, they toasted to a safe flight while flipping through magazines. (Ashley : InStyle JRL: Robb Report) The entire time both parties kept their sunglasses on. It wasn’t until JRL removed his sunglasses, that Ashley quickly followed suite.

(Ashley Olsen with the over sized Birkin pictured above)

JRL asked her what she does for a living, to which she obnoxiously replies, “I’m an actress”, in a tone implying, are you fucking kidding me? He didn't let her tone stop him, he proceed to tell her that he is a first time flyer. JRL actually grabbed her hand during take off, to which Ashley giggled, she wasn't buying it.
NOTE: JRL flies over 100,000 miles each year and is a member of the "Mile Chai Club" more than 1o times over.

After they had hit cruising altitude the flight attendant took their drink order.
Ashley ordered a sort-of screwdriver, “Vodka rocks, and splash of OJ”
To which JRL responds, “Lot of screw, little driver…is it my job to facilitate the follow through?”
Again she wasn't buying it.

When asked where she lived, she responded with, “I have homes in both places”. As in NYC and LA.

Even though JRL said that the flight was so stuffy he actually had to disrobe from his signature blazer (something he never does) Ashley spent the entire flight wrapped in a Hermes cashmere throw, $1,250,which JRL reports she actually took with her into the bathroom. When Ashley returned to her seat JRL greeted her with the comment, "Nice plane hair." At which point she rushed back into the bathroom for a second look.

What did she eat? Did she eat? This is my favorite part. She ordered, without even looking at the menu, a salad- no dressing. Ashley then proceeded to put her chair in the lie flat position and fall asleep. When the flight attendant came with her the salad- no dressing, she quickly opened her eyes and brushed the salad away. Keep in mind that this is almost a seven-hour flight. She did not consume one ounce of food. She did however finish 3 stiff sort-of screwdrivers and 3 glasses of champagne.

JRL and Ashley Olsen were the first to depart the plane. After spending 7 hours calling her “Amy”, sleeping along side of her, and taking video footage, they walk side by side down to the baggage claim. At which point JRL turns to her and says,
“I have to compliment you. Sleeping with an Olsen Twin is much better than TMZ reports.”
So there you have it! No one else could pull it off but JRL.

When asked about the mystery film footage JRL responded, “At this time I am only releasing the still images.” Saving it for his Reality TV show perhaps? We shall have to wait and see!


Anonymous said...

Hysterical. Will he be sued?

mark said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
mark said...

tut* he wishes, scavenger !!

Edie Lively said...

Genius! She had her guard SO down - Well played Justin.
Edie Lively

abc123 said...

Awww poor Ashley. Why do people find it so amusing to mess with someone just because their jobs have made them famous. She's only trying to make a living, just like everyone else...although shes done a rather good job of it compared to the rest of the people in this country lol!

mark said...

Genius? ... lol... why so much zeal towards such efforts to DE-PRIVATIZE a common moment? Genius because this picture might make a PROFIT or simply used to RIDICULE? What guard do you speak of here? surely your not confident in your own skin to mention such, in fact I'd love to SNAP a picture of that particular moment your facial expressions' adjusting to your insecurities then post it to the world. Maybe you'll find a point to it then... ... LOL Ha ha!!
"Only dead fish go with the flow" so I say let them be. Let's just say Ashley doesn't need to play by your rules or anybodies rules for that MATTER. If you feel she owes people attention, your wrong, and NATURALLY she should be able to do what ever she wants, such as sleep on a PRIVATE plane. What's wrong with it? well NOTHING really... except that her privacy has yet again been disrespected. By that reasoning anyone who takes advantage with a low blow effort is not a genuine genius but a scavenger of easy targets. BOOO

It goes against my principals to highlight peoples flaws, especially in public, I prefer to see people succeed as oppose to fail. I'd prefer to catch moments of strength instead of moments of flaw. Flaws are all too natural and common amongst our society but moments of strength are far and few between, and deserve more recognition, or the lack of recognition will continue to fuel a bad reputation, such as this kind of blogging.

Arax-Rae Van Buren said...

Mark -
Thanks for reading! I really appreciate the viewers!

"I trust faith, but doubt is what gives me an education" said...

Almost as good as an afternoon with Ms. Cavicki, Quaker Ridge Style.

Guru Mi...vich

jamie said...

Classic! Love it! Props to u on being persistent and getting a phone interview (although I am not surprised at all) Your FABULOUS REX!!!!!

Rabbis said...

I don’t know what’s tackier, all the ridiculous stuff you folks THINK you know about JRL, or JRL himself. Sorry to disappoint you all (lovers and haters alike), but he does NOT have any of the following: a jet, a yacht, a helicopter, $30K suits, a Fiji-filled pool, a palatial estate, least of all beachfront (try studio in Murray Hill), his own Black AMEX, a stewardess for a mom, a job, a Bentley, hell…a car other than his beat up ‘05 Audi S4, a 6-figure wardrobe, respect, class, or a future.

What he DOES have, is a cell phone. (914) 588-4129

BTW, he hates calls from strangers…Especially thousands of them!

eleanorgrace said...

omg wht is wrong with yal? i am wid tht mark dude! so wht if she slept on a 7hr flight....i would! and hell you would! why yal gotta be so critical about every little thing? let her live her life she aint hurtin' nobody! yal clearly need to get a life and grow up cause yal so boring if this is all you can find to do! omg hear the latest news ashley olsen slept on a 7hr flight..whoo who does tht! pfftttt get over yourself. i hate to tell you this but someones got to! it isn't fair and it certainly isn't right. do yal know wht respect is? don't any of yal listen to the great people in our history or does that not mean a damn thing to yal! they made a true effort and they had a purpose and yal purpose to learn and do it! damn! and this is no disrespect i just wanna get my honest and i know for a fact the right opinion to people who do this stuff. its respect wether you like the girl or not its all for L O V E.... wht could and should reunite us only we can make it happen.

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blahblahboring. said...

lol what a waste of space this is. i'm sure ashley olsen, a millionaire and a fame icon, really gave two shits what a nobody like "JRL" thought of her. NOT. there's absolutely nothing interesting about this, except for the fact that you're a terrible reporter, considering you took one side of an encounter and posted it as the truth. get your facts straight, or keep your mouth shut. i don't know what it is about this generation, but everyone's always blogging or posting or tweeting as if what they have to say is so god damned important that they need to share it to the world. news flash, no one gives a shit about your blog, or about your opinion on ashley olsen. do yourself a favor and get a real life, stop spending so much time trying to live a cyber one.

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